So I guess I’m not living up to the whole “write-a-post (or two)-a-day-thing” very well, am I? I wish I could blame it on being insanely busy with work or helping out at the homeless shelter or researching the cure to AIDS but fuck it, I’ve just been selfish. I’ve been going shopping and running and reading and such. I tell myself it’s okay to be selfish now, because next year I will work hard but I still feel guilty.

I have various ideas for posts in my head–thoughts on a recent trip to Wal-Mart; feelings about the impending MATCH; reflections on a question my friend Angie asked recently, “What color is your pain?”. I think I’ll talk a bit about Rwanda instead. Last week the brilliant husband and I went and saw Hotel Rwanda which is amazing. [Sidenote: I don't think Cheadle will win for Best Actor; Foxx has too much hype for that nomination, but Cheadle's performance was outstanding and he very much earned the nomination. ] I found I had many questions left after the movie, but my brilliant husband just happened to have a book devoted to the subject sitting on the shelf at home. (Remind me not to gripe about extra, “useless” books anymore). So this week I’ve been disciplining myself to read _We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families_ by Philip Gourevitch. It is gripping, heartbreaking, fascinating and revolting all at once. I cannot wrap my pea-sized, sheltered, North American anesthetized brain around the carnage that existed in Rwanda. Perhaps the thing I have struggled with the most is the part that the Church played in the massacre. Pastors and priests not only sat by and allowed the slaughter to occur, but at times took an active role in the decimation. It makes me wonder about the power of the Gospel. Were these people just not converted enough? Can God not overcome ethnic divisions? Is the will of imperialist powers really stronger than the bonds of friendship and love? I don’t know. I just don’t know.