Tagged!

Last week Tonya tagged me and I’m just now fulfilling my duties. I will choose five occupations from those listed below, and then explain to you, my faithful readers (both of you), what I would do if I were able to pursue that particular line of work.

The choices are:
scientist, farmer, musician, doctor, painter, gardener, missionary, chef, architect, linguist, psychologist, librarian, athlete, lawyer, inn-keeper, professor, writer, llama-rider, bonnie pirate, astronaut, world-famous blogger, justice in any one court of the world, married to any current famous political figure.

If I were a FARMER, I’d grow flowers. Lots and lots and lots of flowers. And I’d have wild and random bouquets all over my home and I’d take my creations and sell them at the local farmer’s market, but sometimes I’d just give them away because I’d simply want to share the beauty with those around me.

If I were a LINGUIST, I’d work as a translator for the UN, just like Nicole Kidman in The Interpreter. And I’d be freakishly tall but stunningly gorgeous just like Nicole Kidman as well. People would never suspect my proficiency until I randomly broke out in some local dialect while shopping for papayas in a market in a tiny village in Peru.

I I were a MUSICIAN, I’d end up being the third member of the Indigo Girls (and the only straight one). I’d tear up the guitar and I’d write my own soulful and haunting lyrics accompanied by evocative melodies. And I’d have a crowd of groupies at every concert (a small crowd though) but I would have eyes only for the brilliant husband.

If I were a DOCTOR, I’d practice one day a week or so and the rest of the time I’d be a potter/yoga instructor/runner/volunteer/world traveler/writer/wife/mom (?)/barista/interesting person.

If I were a PROFESSOR, I’d teach literature, but not any of the classics. My main focus would be something like, “Books people read on airplanes” or “Paperbacks-spawn of the devil or insightful commentary on culture.” I’d make everyone read a lot of John Irving and David James Duncan and Chris Bohjahlian and books off Oprah’s Bookclub list. “Real” literature majors would spurn my classes at first, but I’d also be chair of the department, so they’d have to take at least one, and we’d talk about making literature accessible and enjoyable. And other majors would enjoy the classes as well, biology majors and fitness science majors and elementary educations majors. And we’d talk about why Danielle Steel sucks but John Grisham doesn’t. And we’d sit in some local restaurant and my students would order me glasses of pinot noir and gin and tonics and they’d flock to me because I’d be both fun and wise. (However, my brilliant husband would be gathered with his students at the pub next door, where they’d be buying him pilsners and ales and eventually it would turn out that neither of us were all that interesting; in fact, we’d both end up in AA where I would develop chronic halitosis from the bad coffee and he’d start chain smoking and eventually we’d “retire” in Key West, Florida, where he’ll work part time delivering papers and I’ll hostess at Shoney’s in the mornings.)

Now, I’m supposed to tag some people as well–so Amy and Deb, have at it!

A special “hello” to Jessie, who just returned from Kenya and found this blog by looking me up on the Internet. She’s the only med student that reads this, so she’ll call me out if I bullshit too much.